


coming back home

by iooking



Series: take care [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Fix-It: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iooking/pseuds/iooking
Summary: Prequel to coffee with honey, Dean and Jack have a talk.--wrote this a while ago, posted on my tumblr. figured i would upload it here as well!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: take care [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058507
Comments: 12
Kudos: 183





	coming back home

Jack made a promise to Dean that he would do his best, but he needed time. Dean had offered to go with him, but Jack insisted that he do this alone – there was work to be done outside of Earth, and that would be his responsibility. The rest, he would leave to Dean.

It was a quiet few days after everything came back. The world whirred outside the bunker, but Sam and Dean spent most of their time inside. It was exhausting, debilitating, even, to have been bestowed freedom in this way. Sam works slowly, reorganizing the bunker, making calls to those who are still around, and just wandering outside, observing the new old world. Sam is intimidated by the sheer breadth of possibility, but there’s a growing spark in him that is excited to carve out a new path.

Dean, on the other hand, isn’t doing so well. It’s a troubling silence that falls over the bunker after Jack leaves. Miracle, the dog Dean rescued, is at his side most hours of the day, and Dean is in and out of his room to feed Miracle for the most part. Sometimes he’ll cook something and leave it out for Sam, but most days he’s cooped up in his room. Once, Sam thinks he sees Dean go into Castiel’s room, but he doesn’t mention it.

Dean doesn’t want to be angry with anyone. In a sense, it was all a collection of necessary evils to get to this point – Castiel had to sacrifice himself for Jack, and Jack’s departure was the logical next step after he took Chuck’s power. He should be used to this, he thinks, and he should be _grateful_ , but he’s not. Each morning, he stays in bed until Miracle pesters him long enough to be left out. He makes fleeting eye contact with Sam, but he doesn’t talk much. Sam will often tell him what he plans to do for the day, and Dean will nod, but not speak. He feels like his voice doesn’t work anymore, in that even if he wanted to say something, he wouldn’t be able to. Thankfully, Miracle is receptive to non-verbal communication.

The night Castiel was taken away, Dean had drunk himself into a stupor. Sometimes he continues that evening in the solace of his own room and fuck, it sure is effective at soothing the swells of emotion that creep up on him at every hour. Dean hears Sam’s footsteps pause outside his door each night, and he wonders if his sobs are audible in the halls, and if maybe Castiel could hear them, too. It’s a stupid thought, knowing how the Empty works, but every so often, after five more glasses of whiskey than necessary, he calls out to him. Once or twice, he catches himself screaming Castiel’s name, and he knows Sam can hear that, but it’s too much to hold inside. It’s the only thing he’s said in days.

Cas.

_Cas._

Dean spends his sober hours wondering what the hell Jack plans to do. He’s almost certain that Jack means to bring Castiel back, but he doesn’t know in what capacity. Would Castiel still be an angel? Would he be human? Worst case scenario, would he just bring back _Jimmy?_ It’s hard to plan the rest of your life freed from the shackles of fate when he doesn’t even know that. So, he drinks some more.

If Jack never said anything to him, he might be better off. Maybe one day he could take on finding Castiel on his own terms – he’s sure there’s some spell he could find to get Castiel back, after all. Maybe then he could go on and live his life like Sam is. He hears Sam call Jody a few times, and Dean thinks about Claire. He wonders if Claire knows what happened to Castiel, and he wonders if Sam told her. 

God’s a three-year-old and Dean’s more drunk than he is sober. Maybe Chuck would have the last laugh after all.

Sam finally knocks on his door after several days of the same daytime silence and midnight wailing. It’s morning, and Dean’s still a little drunk from the night before. He opens the door, letting Sam in, and he crawls back into bed, Miracle tucked into his side.

“Hey,” Sam starts tentatively, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“We could go look for him, you know.”

Dean snorts, and Sam furrows his brow. “Don’t you want to, Dean?”

“I don’t want shit, Sammy,” he mutters, his body turned away from Sam. He hears Sam sigh.

“That’s a lie, but I think I understand. It’s about what Jack said, isn’t it?”

Dean’s silence provides Sam with all the answers he needs. Dean feels Sam get up from the bed.

“In a way,” he sighs, his voice steady, “I think Jack meant that we didn’t have to worry about anything, Dean. To live our lives the way we want to.” Sam pauses, and when Dean continues to be silent, he continues.

“He’s the one person we can trust to do the right thing, don’t you think? I mean, we can probably talk to him if we want to, and maybe even ask about Ca-”

“Don’t talk about Cas.”

Dean’s tone is biting and cold. Given that these are the first words Dean has said to Sam in days, he shuts his mouth. In a sense, Dean’s said too much already, and now Sam knows for sure the reason for his excessive ennui. He reaches a hand to Dean’s shoulder, and Dean doesn’t flinch away. They stay like that for a moment before Sam gets up, closing the door behind him.

On some level, of course Dean trusts Jack. Jack has a limitless empathy about him that he knows will only be used for good, but Dean can’t help but feel utterly helpless. Castiel is in the Empty _because of him._ If Dean can’t be the one to drag him out himself, then he doesn’t know if he deserves it. So, in a way, Dean’s scared of Jack doing the right thing. What is he supposed to do for Castiel on Earth? What could he even offer to the angel that gave up _everything_ for him? How could he ever be enough for Castiel, and how could he ever be so selfish to want him here after that?

Some days, Dean thinks Castiel didn’t give him a chance to say anything back. Other days, Dean thinks he didn’t deserve to say anything anyways.

\--

It’s a normal morning like any other when Dean wakes up to see Jack sitting at the edge of his bed, mindlessly scratching Miracle behind the ear. Jack looks up, his serious face breaking into a smile.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean just blinks at him. Jack gives him a knowing look.

“When I promised that I wouldn’t interfere anymore, I meant it,” he starts, speaking in the same manner he used to, thoughtfully chewing on each word. Dean swallows, hard.

“S-So… Cas…”

Jack’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, no I brought Cas back,” he says cheerfully, and Dean’s eyes go wide. He quickly sits up in bed, much to the protest of Miracle, who growls playfully before leaping off the bed.

“Jack, what do you mean you brought Cas back?”

Jack tilts his head. “I made two promises to you, Dean. I would do my best, but I needed time,” he says matter-of-factly, “and that I would no longer interfere. I’ve fulfilled one, and I’m here to fulfill the second.”

Dean stares blankly at Jack, as if he was speaking an entirely different language. Jack smiles.

“It was…challenging, but I managed to get Cas out as part of my mission to, uh, fix things upstairs.” Jack fiddles with Dean’s bedsheets, looking more like a child than a deity.

“I was a big part of the reason Cas went to the Empty in the first place, so I had some, um, leverage? Is that the right word? Anyways, I got him out, but his grace couldn’t come with him.”

Jack looks troubled by this, his brows knitted together.

“I wasn’t able to get him back the way he was, Dean, but I did my best. In some ways, it’s nice, because I don’t think I want too many angels on Earth anyway, but I feel bad that Cas had to lose his grace.” Jack looks up at Dean, and Dean’s still frozen in place.

“He said he was okay with it, but I think he sacrificed it. I thought that after I took over, there wouldn’t be any more resistance, but it appears there are still some, um, ‘loopholes’ to work around,” Jack says, punctuating with finger quotes.

They’re both quiet for a moment before Dean clears his throat.

“Where is he, Jack?”

Jack smiles, tilting his head. “He’s in the bunker. I put him to bed, which was super weird since he’s my dad and all, but he’s pretty tired.” Jack thinks for a moment. “He should wake up soon, but he might be in rough condition.”

Dean nods slowly, but soon he’s shaking his head. Jack looks worried.

“Why did you bring him back, Jack?” he asks, and he knows it’s unfair to ask, but he feels like he has to. Jack answers immediately.

“It’s what you wanted, Dean. I know that.”

Dean swallows. “Yeah, I guess you would know that now, but just because…” he coughs, pushing down the need to cry, or scream, or go silent again, 

“Just because I want it doesn’t mean it’s what you should have done.”

Jack smiles, and his childish veneer disappears with it. “Dean, I may still have much to learn, especially from you, but I am confident with what I chose to do. Yes, there was some compromise, but anything dealing with humanity works that way.” Dean lets a breath out, his chest sagging.

“Dean Winchester, you are the man who was ready to sacrifice his life ten times over for the freedom of others. You always chose free will. Freedom isn’t really a gift to you when you fought so hard against fate that it literally broke.” Jack sees Dean take a breath and he holds his hand up. Dean relents.

“You suffered for me, too. This is more than a thank you, Dean, this is me making things right. I don’t think I could just hang out in heaven without ever doing this for you.”

Dean levels his gaze with Jack, his face serious. 

“Jack, you have to tell me the truth right now,” he starts, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “You have to tell me if there’s a catch.”

Jack shakes his head. “Nope. Well, besides Cas being human, there is no catch.”

Dean’s face softens, but he knows Jack can sense his uncertainty.

“I don’t want a thank you, Dean,” Jack says, shrugging his shoulders. “All I want is for you to keep your end of the promise.”

“So, there is a catch.”

Jack tilts his head. “Do you remember what I asked of you, Dean?”

Dean sighs. “You said something about taking care of things here, but what does that have to do with any of this?”

“Cas is here now. That’s what I need you to take care of.” 

Jack smiles softly, and Dean feels his shoulders tense.

“Why didn’t you let me do it?”

Jack tilts his head, and Dean can barely look at him, as it reminds him too much of Castiel, who, _apparently_ , is only a few feet away from him.

“Dean, there was no way for you or Sam to get Cas out. No spell, no magic that I know of that would have let you guys get there and back without getting hurt.”

Dean furrows his brow. “Without getting hurt? Jack, he lost his damn grace!” he says with a bit more bite than he intends. Jack doesn’t seem fazed.

“Dean, I mean that there’s a chance none of you would have made it back alive.”

The silence that falls in the room is one of understanding, but Dean still feels a frustration fester within. He puts his head in his hands and groans.

“Fuck, Jack, sorry, I just…” 

He pauses to take a deep breath.

“This just feels too easy, y’know?”

Jack hums thoughtfully. “I knew you would say that” he says, his tone light and playful. Dean gives him a glare, but Jack is unaffected.

“It’s what Cas wanted, too,” Jack says, and Dean feels his jaw go slack.

“He, much like you, didn’t say it, but you two don’t do a very good job of hiding what you want.”

Dean scowls. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jack giggles.

“Nothing. But I think you know.”

Jack shuffles on the bed closer to Dean until he’s leaning against the headboard next to him. He cuddles close to Dean, and Dean feels his arm instinctively wrap around the boy. God or not, Jack is still very much a child.

“I’m leaving Cas here, Dean. That was a really hard choice for me to make, because I can’t do anything to take care of him now.” Dean nods, and he feels his breathing steady with Jack by his side.

“And I know I don’t have to ask, because I know you’ll take care of him, Dean. But I think I’m starting to understand why people like Chuck interfered so much. I think they cared too much, too.”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “Something like that, yeah,” he mutters, because he’s not so sure that Chuck and Jack operate on even remotely similar wavelengths.

Jack turns to look at Dean, his face still so strikingly similar to Castiel’s. 

“I miss this a lot, Dean. I miss being here with you guys so much.”

Dean crooks an eyebrow at him. “You saying you won’t visit?”

Jack thinks for a moment. “Well, I didn’t know if that was a wise thing to do, especially if I can’t stay forever. Well, like this, that is.” Dean ruffles Jack’s hair. 

“We’ll always be happy to see you, Jack.”

Eventually, Jack gets up, and Dean knows he has to go. Before he leaves, he looks at Dean with as much seriousness as a three-year-old in an adult body can muster. 

“Are you going to be okay, Dean?”

Dean smiles, and it feels foreign on his face. 

“Like you said, I’ll do my best. Which isn’t much, but it’s something.”

Jack laughs at that.

“Thank you, Dean, for everything. I talked to Sam, too. He knows. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I look forward to it more than anything else.”

He raises his hand in that same sedentary wave he had adopted years ago.

“Goodbye, Dean.”

\--

Dean stands outside Castiel’s door for what feels like hours, and he swears he can hear Castiel breathing in his sleep. Still, he’s not convinced that he’ll be there when he opens the door. Sam is in the kitchen, and he gave Dean a knowing look before telling him to go to Castiel. He takes a deep breath, counting his fingers and toes and pinching himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, and he opens the door slowly.

He’s there.

Sprawled out on his bed, dressed in his trench coat and suit like always, his back rises and falls with his breathing. 

Deans wants to reach out and touch him, but he’s afraid he’ll disappear if he does.

So, instead, he sits in the chair by the bed, and watches him.

Like Castiel must have done for countless nights.

Dean wonders if Castiel fell for him while he was asleep, because now, watching Castiel sleep peacefully, he feels an indescribable pull in his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> as per usual find me on tumblr (URL thatisahotsoup)  
> rebloggable here!
> 
> https://thatisahotsoup.tumblr.com/post/636725100505366528


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